How leaders shut down communication and connection
Ever wonder why your team is not performing at their best? Discussions are between a few while the rest sit in silence and observe. Maybe…
Leadership
How leaders shut down communication and connection
Ever wonder why your team is not performing at their best? Discussions are between a few while the rest sit in silence and observe. Maybe you’re falling victim to one of these four unintentional behaviors.
Giving the impression of being the only expert in the room. It is true that not everyone invited to a meeting may be an expert. However, you’re negating their presence on the call or having a seat at the table if you, as a leader, are dictating who is relevant and who is not. Is your concern to do with time-wasting? Not getting locked in a battle of semantics? The person in the meeting is working under a misunderstanding? A topic that is not relevant? This speaks more for the need to plan and onboard everyone to what they need to know and provide time for everyone to catch up on their understanding. Abruptly cutting off a person to say they don’t have enough background or context to comment is a surefire way that they will not feel included or speak up again.
Downplaying contributions or need for words from the team. This can be seen in ignoring a soft-spoken colleague or dismissal of the need for data and analytics by another. On a recent call, I experienced the alpha attendees deciding all the points without a pause. I, as facilitator, failed miserably to ask the quieter folk whether they had something to say. There was a perception of needing to get the thing done quickly. These less assertive personas on the call collectively melted into the wall like wallflowers. As this was a workshop, we almost failed at our end goal. Those speaking the loudest were too immersed in their arguments. YET, there were experts on the call who would have helped change course for the better — had they felt they could contribute.
Being the loudest and speaking the longest. I’m as guilty of this one as everyone I know in leadership is. I want to inform everyone that I have a brilliant idea. I talk fast, I talk long, I bring up all sorts of elaborate examples and almost have a conversation with myself — all in front of a team of observers. Plan ahead. Build-in breaks and Q&A. Slow down. Maybe refactor the call as a presentation and provide time for your idea to sink in before actually discussing the topic.
Speaking in a different language. You’re immersed in the subject so you throw around long and elaborate words. You are entitled in your speech that is filled with acronyms or slang. You throw your team off in your expectation for them to be on the same page. You expect everyone to be familiar with the language of business, trading, or software. The sentences you form in talking need cognitive effort to translate and be understandable to the regular Josephine or Joe on your team. It takes a certain level of assertiveness to ask a confident person what they’re talking about. The best teams are a mix of personalities. Be cognizant of context and word meaning as well. For example, ‘accessibility’ means very different things to a UX expert, a developer, and a documentarian.
